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It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put in giving. — Mother Teresa I met a fifth grade boy recently who was happy to share his feelings about the upcoming holidays. “I’ve given up on Christmas,” he said. “I’ve come to realize that, no matter what I ask for, what I really want I just won’t get. I asked for an Xbox last year and got a book. Whenever I ask for video games, my mom tells me to go outside and play. Why doesn’t she understand I just want to be like the other kids?” I have to admit, his cynicism tugged at my heart strings. I know his mother, and I know and respect the reasoning behind her parenting decisions and their family values. I know, too, that she feels guilty at times over values, wants, and needs. Gift Giving as a Montessori Parent In her article “Anger, guilt and spending on kids: 8 questions to ask before buying anything,” psychotherapist and parenting coach Debbie Pincus states that “Guilt and anger are both uncomfortable emotions; and as different as t...

Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a Store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more! — Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas When I was growing up, my mother and grandmother had a little impish elf among their holiday décor. He sat quietly on the shelf, watching the holiday festivities, without being an interactive part of our holiday. Today, the popular ‘elf on the shelf’ that appears at the holidays is used as a sort of secular advent countdown to Christmas. Often, children are told that the elf is there watching for their good behavior. While the elf is supposed to ensure that the children are behaving well, he is notorious for getting into mischief himself. Children wake up daily to see what kind of trouble the elf has gotten into overnight. Modeling Kindness During the Holiday Season The elf’s antics may seem harmless to adults, but what message are we sending the children? We ask children to be on their best behavior during a time that can be stressful...

The great task of education must be to secure and to preserve a normality which, of its own nature, gravitates toward the center of perfection. —Maria Montessori The Absorbent Mind, p. 239. In Chapter 23, Dr. Montessori explains that the fundamental difference between her method and conventional methods is based on the social cohesion found within the environment. This cohesion, she tells us, springs spontaneously when we allow the child to develop based on their needs. These needs are inherent in all children and are set forth by nature. “It is the society of little children who are guided by the magical powers of nature. We must value it and treasure it, because neither the character nor the social sentiment can be given by teachers. They are the products of life.” (p. 234) The Absorbent Mind, Chapter 23: Cohesion in the Social Unit Montessori found that social cohesion is an unconscious power whereby children work together for the greater good. They work without needing rewards and ...